False Hope of Spring
I was asleep when you found me, unconscious in my frozen state and quite unaware of that condition. I had dreams, but they were not of you. You were beyond my dreams; and I was ignorant of the depth of need for you in my soul.
Somehow your attention found me drifting in that darkness. I was unaware of the hollow place that you filled with the warmth of your attentions. Suddenly, it was all I could feel. I had been ignorant of your affection, of the ecstasy of your touch. Ignorant of how much I needed it and you, of how much I needed to bask in the warmth of your embrace. Ignorant more of how your attention could make me feel: alive and beautiful and vibrant and full of everything You needed.
My soul stirred in it's thawing, slowly allowing for the warmth to penetrate even the most disfigured and resistant parts of myself. Choosing life, choosing acceptance, over and over again in the face of this confusing but comforting warmth. I thirsted for you, but I did not expect that you'd share